..looking back at my life at the age of 62, I thought my life was something runaway. Runaway all the time runaway, runaway from my bossy brother, and runaway from family at the age of 16. I came up to Tokyo and found a job and went to night school. After that when I finished night school I got a job as a sales person and worked for 5 years selling general merchandise 7 days a week. I got fed up with it and at that time (1973) there was some kind of boom for young people to go overseas, so I followed the trend and took off from Japan to go to Europe. Then I ended up in England. I went across Siberia on train and aeroplane, so that was a kind of runaway again.
I just stayed on in England and after 10 years I again ran away from England. I found a Japanese girlfriend and I thought I want to make a life with her in Japan. I went back to Japan first but we lost contact after several months, I didn’t see her again. I couldn’t readjust to life in Japan when I came back. I found myself very useless. Everytime I found a job I soon get fed up with it and leave it again and my life was a repetition of that style. Every job I found was not really what I wanted to do and then I went for gambling. I didn’t do much in my life.
So when I look back at my life, my life was running away, escaping or something. When I became homeless I thought where can I escape from now? I thought the only place is above in heaven…or hell, whichever it is. I thought (about) my life and thought I must make myself something useful. What have I got? I wondered. I’ve got my body, my life, I mean my biological life, so I thought I’m going to use my body and found Sokerissa dancing, I found something to focus on .
I was a fatalist and a bit of an opportunist. Of course I regret a lot..why didn’t I think for the future when I was young? what I really wanted to do…I should have really given it consideration. Definitely I should have gone for marriage because I believe that human life, the ultimate cause of human life is to carry on and hand down the life, but I didn’t do that…
I think the 2 most important affairs for humans, one is to hand down life just like any other creature and the other thing is to hand down information. Information is a kind of soul. The soul is an amalgamation of all the human wisdom I think. The soul is developing. I am not religious but I believe in god. Why it has got to be Christ I wonder? Christ is reality, god is abstract, that’s what connects him with god and to me..’